Psalm 13:1-2, 5-6
Once again someone I love has gotten the dreaded ‘C’ diagnosis. My heart breaks for the battle that must be faced in the midst of other health issues. I am too far away to offer a hug or to be by their side when chemo starts. I cry out in my prayers asking for a miracle that only He can do and for my friend’s comfort and peace. My friend is asking God hard questions – you know the kind – why me? What have I done? Why Lord, do you hate me? These are questions of anguish and doubt. Not unlike the many conversations David has with God.
In the passages above, David is once again crying out to the Lord for relief. He is demanding to know how long it is going to be before the Lord his God acts on his behalf. He feels like God isn’t there, is not listening and apparently doesn’t care that his mind is being ravaged by doubt and fear or that his heart is being crushed by sorrow.
I love how David always expresses his rawest emotions, speaking to God like you would someone you have a deep bond with. Sometimes, demanding that God act on his behalf. Sometimes, falling on his face in total surrender to whatever God’s will is. David doubts – I believe not because he doubts that God exists or that God can do great and mighty things – but because he doubts his own faith, his own understanding and his own identity in God’s plan.
When David finishes his lament – he praises God with equal emotion. Proclaiming that he WILL TRUST and that his heart though currently being crushed by sorrow, fear and doubt will rejoice because the Lord’s salvation is sure. David sings praise to the Lord even in the midst of the struggles he is facing.
One friend is just starting the cancer battle, the daughter of another in the midst of the same battle, one son-in-law dealing with his own serious health issue. What battle are you trying to stare down? What is filling your heart with sorrow?
HE is there in the midst of everything – so trust in His unfailing love and sing praise to Him, and sing loudly – it will make your heart and mind feel better.
A Prayer
Father – thank you for the raw emotion of your servant David’s lament and proclamation of trust even in the midst of the battle. He teaches us that we can be equally raw in our cries of anguish and we reach out to You. Help to rejoice and sing You praise once we have asked our hard questions and poured out our pain at your feet. Bring us peace and comfort and healing. Remind us that you love us with an unfailing love. In the name of Jesus, who is with us even when we doubt. – Amen.
